Reflection

I am so terrible at writing reflections.

Most of it starts because I can never find any kind of idea for an introduction. I'm a big fan of the whole, one sentence then jump right in kinda thing. Why stall to get to the heart of the argument, right?

But I know this isn't necessairly the right way to go. An introduction is something completely necessary. It gives a nod to the rest of the paper, while still keeping enough mystery for the reader...
Bullshit.

I don't give a shit about that. I've learned so much in my English class this year, but this is just somethign that I can not do. I don't care about introductions, so why should I put them in a reflection?

If I could only skip the introduction I would probably be done with this stupid thing by now. I know I should just skip the damn thing and come back to it later, but then I can't come up with anything else.

I also don't like reflecting on myself, and writing it out. Ironic, right? Well, I suppose that's kinda been what I've been reaching for this entire year. To be able to just let loose and speak my mind. Well, I just don't work that way. And it really sucks. I want to be able to talk. I want to be able to just say whatever the hell comes to my mead. And things have been getting better, but it still seems to just get some kind of...roadblock after a while. And I know exactly why. It's because of my low as hell self-esteem. I've been censoring myself for probably three years now, and I want to stop. It was only recently that I figured this all out, and I've been trying my hardest to stop it. But it's just not coming as easily as I would have hoped.

It's getting better around people that I'm comfortable with. And I've always still been there around the right people. But I want to sound intelligent or...whatever around certain people. I want to impress them, and to not say something stupid or awkward, which just makes my personality, which is supposed to be silly and fun sound awkward whenever it actually comes out.

They saw it the other day. The true taste appeared for them. I only wish I could always make it work.