Spider solitaire

I've become addicted to Spider solitaire once again.

All I do when I wanna procrastinate anymore is play Spider. It's awful, because I end up restarting the game a half million times before I actually ever finish a game (let alone get past the first deal).

I should have done more homework, but I'm too braindead right now.

I had a dress rehersal for band/chorus from 5:15 til about 9. It kinda sucked. I wish my chorus could actually sing sometimes.

Today was a strange day. I got lucky with some stuff, but I'm not so sure how much I deserve it. I am definitely happy about it, and don't want it to change, but still. Even though it makes sense, I still feel guilty. I don't wanna make anybody sad.

It was really surprising to me how true the statement that I said before was. That I was getting used to having happiness taken away from me once I got a taste of it. I'm sure it's gonna happen again someday because that's just how things work out. But I realized how I had been dealing with shit. That was right after school. I was walking through the hallway away from my locker, a place where I sometimes have some kind of profound, depressing, excited, hurried, something kind of thought.

I really like stream of consciousness writing, especially if it's done well. Like Faulkner. He's one damn genius.

Though I felt pretty dumb when I found out that I was the only one in class who handn't realized she was pregnant.
I wish I had done that journal.
Now I probably won't get into college.

Up until maybe 5:30, the high point in my day had been figuring out how to make a working, moving walk cycle in my animation class. Nobody else had thought of that (at least not in the class) and my teacher thought it was really cool. So did I.
It made all of those wasted days actually mean something.

I will never drink Dr. Pepper at 8:30 in the morning again. I needed some caffeine, and I was thirsty. But it made me feel so sick. And it gave me a headache that I still have. Heartburn too.
I should carry tums around at school.

This was the most random post ever.

I don't know what's going on in my head anymore.