Acen

It was fun. What more can I say?

I wish I had bought more, which is strange for me to say. Usually it's "Why did I spend so much money?"

Which I guess is an allegory. That I've lost, or at least am losing prior...I guess morals (though I don't think that's quite the right word).

But I'm not so sure how bad that is.

I'm not so sure about a lot of things lately.
And I'm sorry this syntax is so screwy.

I just realized a kid from St. Francis isn't blocked on my buddy list, and I really have no idea how that happened. I specifically remember going and blocking all of them

It's weird how that part of my life seems to mean nothing now. Given how shitty it was, one might think it would mean more to me. Maybe it does, and maybe it has effected me a lot more than I can tell. But nowadays I barely give that place a second thought.
And of course there are reasons about why.

I hate that I complain so much. I have so few real reasons to.
But I wish I were more fun. I wish that people actually wanted to be around me. That they would invite me places without me having to call them first. And this isn't meant to be specifically to a certain person, just in general. Usually I have to invite myself places, or else people would go on about their daily life. They wouldn't care that I wasn't there.
But why would they? Really? I'm not that interesting or fun, at least not anymore. I don't do anything crazy, and I'm much more inhibited than I used to be.
And it all sucks, because I'm pretty sure I know why, but I just can't fix it.
I wish I had been there in the past. I wish I had been a bigger part of the lives of people who have made such a big impact on my life. But no.
The past has sucked.
So why do I love it so much?